


We can help each other

by ZenHeyerdall



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gift Fic, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, and with titles, cat butler naming, essek can say no to jester, like everybody tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:47:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28852329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZenHeyerdall/pseuds/ZenHeyerdall
Summary: Essek's first night in the tower with the Mighty Neins is not what you expect, but nothing is ever how you expect when you hang out with them.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	We can help each other

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoldenHerm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenHerm/gifts).



It was impressive, it was the only thing he could say about that tower.

At first he hadn't understood what he was trying to do with Caleb and the rest of the Mighty Nein when they had told him to walk through the door of that battered closet in one of the rooms they had rented.

Although he hadn't really seemed so weird to him, he had long since gotten used to the chaos that surrounded that group wherever they went. So when they asked him that , he was surprised if but he didn't think that they would have hidden intentions after that.

But that wasn't expected.

While he observed the nine vast stained glass windows, the rest of the members went by one by one, recognizing the design of each one of them, being that each one represented the known schools of magic, including the dunamancy, a detail that didn't go unnoticed by him and that made a small smile escape her.

"Isn't it cool, Essek?" Jester asked, approaching him “Caleb did this for all! Oh, you should come and see my room! "

"Jester, I guess Essek is tired as everyone so ... maybe we can leave the tour for tomorrow," Fjord told him softly.

"It's okay, Fjord, I don't mind" as if someone could say no to Jester .

"Let's have dinner first, _ja_?" Caleb told them. He approached Essek and pointed to the wide and high space that climbed to the top of the tower "to go up you just have to think the order" up ", okay?"

"It's easy" observed Beau "especially for someone who spends most of the day floating"

"They are ... they are two different concepts" he murmured softly.

"It's one thing to rise and another to float," added Caleb.

"Jeez, I know that" she replied rolling her eyes "if it's going to be like this all night it's better that you go to Caleb's room" she added before rising to one of the upper floors, before losing sight of her, , the wizard gived her the middle finger and she gave it back to him with a laugh.

"I see that Beauregard is doing well" Essek commented to ignore what she had just said and change the subject.

"Yep!" Jester exclaimed following the same path as her companion "See you in the dining room, Essek!"

Little by little the rest of the members of the Mighty Nein were rising towards the upper floors, being that Caleb and he were left alone. There was a strange silence between them that Essek wasn't able to understand, he had never been good with feelings and understanding that it was what others felt, in that his brother was right, since he was always more on his own way and there were things that he ignored .

But he felt there was an invisible wall between his relationship with Caleb, perhaps since he had learned the truth about who had stolen the luxon beacons and given them to the empire. He hadn't considered that he was so hurt by it, by the reaction he had had, he had felt ... that he understood. But what if he was wrong? What if something else happened and he wasn't realizing it? He suspected something was wrong but he wasn't sure about it.

"I take this some kind of extradimensional manor like magnificent mansion spell?" she asked her.

"It is" confirmed this.

"Impressive" he congratulated him "you have surpassed yourself, Caleb"

"And you haven't seen the entire tower yet" he reminded him "come on, let me show you, we are going to the fourth floor where the dinning room is, I hope that's okay"

"Of course, I don't want to impose" he was a guest after all and he didn't feel like he could complain when the Mighty Nein must have been tired and hungry after a day full of adventures.

"You're not imposing, _mein Freund_ " the other said softly "you're part of our family, you're free to speak your mind with us"

"Thank you, that's ... very kind of you," he admitted. Essek didn't usually speak freely, he had learned throughout his life that what he had to say and what the people around him wanted to hear were two very different things and that it wasn't worth give his opinion since that would only cause dislikes and shame to his Den.

"You deserve some kindess" he added and that was when Caleb climbed the stairs that led to the platform and waited for the drow to do the same so that they both rose to the upper floors at the same time.

Essek was used to floating, it was something that was expected of him due to the peculiarity of this and he had acquired it as a habit to impress everyone, especially those who had just met him. But that was different, he went faster than he used to go and also he was distracted trying to observe every detail of the rooms that were passing. Caleb pointed out that the two floors they had left behind, next to the frist which was the entry hall, were the great hall and the living room, and he promised to show him both but emphasized the room where he said there were all the books he had read.

At last they reached the fourth floor, Caleb led him along with the rest to the dining room, each member of the Mughty Nein had taken their seats and were arguing, as Essek heard about what they were going to order for dinner.

"Caleb!" Jester exclaimed when he saw him "Can I also ask one of the cats tonight to cuddle with me?"

"Oh, ja, sure, Jester, they will be happy to be of help" confirmed the wizard.

"Cats?" Essek arched an eyebrow in wonder as he took a seat in one of the free chairs around the table.

"We have cat butlers, Essek," Fjord informed him, for a moment he seemed amused by his confusion.

"You have ... what?" The drow looked at them all one by one, thinking that perhaps he was a victim of a joint joke, but although they all smiled, he knew they weren't kidding .

"It's better if I show you," observed Caleb, who got up to pull a robe net and immediately made a small white cat with bright eyes appear.

"Oh, Yasha, you've never seen a cat until you met Frumpkin, right?" Veth asked the other woman "because I think that you, Essek, may not have seen one too, because you live in Xhorhas"

Essek had stared at the cat that had just appeared, it was true that in Xhorhas cats weren't very common and there were people, he supposed like Yasha, who never saw them. He hadn't actually seen any either until Caleb showed up with his familiar, that cat didn't seem so different from the other.

"I met Frumpkin" he reminded them "are they like him?"

"They're fey cats, like him but he's the best, he's the head of the cats" explained the wizard.

"You know Essek?" Jester approached him with another cat in her arms, probably invoked by her meanwhile “this is Rudi, do you know that you can name them? And you can sleep with them if you want, they're the best for cuddling at night! ”

"I guess that's good?" he wasn't entirely sure, he had never tried it. It was at that moment that the cat jumped on his lap and began to knead in it.

"You had to name this cat, I mean, he's claimed you" Beauregard told him.

"But these are ... Caleb's cats ... I wouldn't ..."

"It's okay, Essek" Caleb cut him off "I have given names to some but Jester also, they have all given names to cats that are with them in their bedrooms, you can do the same"

Essek had a pretty stupid problem, never in his life he had to name anything or anyone, never a living being since he had no children or pets. And his friends wanted him to name a cat he had just met out of nowhere. A white cat, who was being very affectionate with him, who was rubbing his little head in his hands as if asking for affection and attention and who looked at him in a way that reminded him of his brother Verin when they were little, almost as if he implored that he wanted his attention .

"Verin" he hadn't planned to say the name of his brother but it had come out without being able to avoid it.

"Verin? It's a nice name ”observed the firbolg.

"It's my brother's name" Essek felt a bit ashamed because, on the one hand, he hadn't mentioned his little brother to his friends, and on the other, he felt that he had just made a fool of himself.

"Oh, we didn't know you have a brother," Yasha observed. Her voice was soft, as always, there was no accusation in her .

"We're not ... close and he's away, not in Rosohna, he works ... he's away" it was the only thing he said, he didn't want to talk about Verin at the time.

"Well, we would love to meet him but... another day, if you want of course" observed Fjord "right now we have other more important matters on our hands"

"I did name my moorbounder after my sister" Caduceus told him calmly "I thought I was the only one who would do something like that, it's nice that you some things remind you of your family"

Even so, despite knowing that Caduceus, whom he respected for how calm and willing to listen he always was, had done the same, he felt slightly embarrassed by it. But nothing bad happened, no one made fun of him for it andhe silently thanked when it was announced that they were going have dinner.

And then another kind of chaos happened, the food. Caleb told him that he could order whatever he wanted as the cats would cook it. There was mushroom soup, bacon, fresh bread, cheese, all kinds of meat, and for some reason pancakes and insects. Faced with such a display of food, the drow didn't ask for anything specific since he considered that there was more than enough and he wasn't really picky with what he ate (although insects were not something he was going to try ) so he accepted what they had ordered without complain or demand something.

He remembered his mother, educating her children to have the best manners when dining with the family or with members of other important Den, making a difference in the fact of how important they were above others and that they should of show it at times like that and that she wouldn't let them embarrass her with bad behavior.

He had already seen the time before when he had dinner with the Mighty Nein that he didn't have to worry about giving a bad image (not that they gave it) but they were the kind of family that dined together and asked how your day had gone and told you how theirs had fared or that they were talking about the last book they had read or the spells they had learned or the last joke they had played, that kind of things.

Last time he had gone to dinner with them, he had talked a bit about himself but since he hadn't seen them for a long time, this time it was his turn to know things, he asked them how it had been since the last time they had seen each other and Jester spoke about the Traveler Con, about the "god" that she revered who in the end didn't want to be a God because it was a lot of work and he preferred to continue being an Archfey, about the dick hunt, Yasha's concert (and Yasha muttered that if he wanted, another day he could play the arp for him) and how they tried to trick everyone into becoming followers of The Moonweaver and how that she hadn't liked that and almost everything ended very badly.

And they also told him about the people of the village of Vo in Rumblecusp, about Vokodo and how they had been saved from living the rest of their lives controlled by a selfish being who only wanted more and more and made them forget who they were. And how they had fought against it with the help of an ally that they had made and saved and how after recovering their memories some had left but others remained there.

And of the visions of that city in the Astral Sea, of the nine eyes and about Lucien or Nonagon , there was some sorrow between them when they mentioned that name and Essek thought there was something else that they didn't tell him but it seemed somewhat painful and he knew well that he didn't have to pry into matters that could bring back bad memories for his friends.

By the time they finished dinner they were all exhausted and the tour had to wait for another day, Essek promised Jester that since she was so excited for him to see her bedroom since she told him that it was wonderful and the best room ever , they would do it the next day because he wanted to make her happy and he knew she was eager to show him.

It was Caleb who guide him to the guest room. A room one floor from where they were on the same floor that Caduceus' and Yasha's, it was a nice and warm room and Essek imagined it was due to the fact of the combination of the fireplace or the wooden furniture of a style that seemed to him to be clearly from the Empire although he didn't know of which part because he hadn't spent much time there in his meetings with members of the Assembly. There were books and cozy chairs to read them, it was a nice room, warm and cozy, different from what he was used to but not for that reason he disliked it.

Once alone in the room, the drow turned his attention to one of the books titled "The Courting of the Crick." Essek wasn't an idiot and he knew well how the people of the Empire called the Xhorhasian (especially if they were members of the dynasty and drow) in a derogatory way and it seemed strange and curious at the same time that there was a book with such a title in that room .

So he decided to read it but quickly, once he started reading it he understood where it was going to go in terms of narration. Essek was taking that book as a joke and it was no wonder, it was clear that someone from the Empire had written it not only because of how he described the drow who starred in the story but because of how the story was going in a way that it wasn't surprising at all and when he got to a part where she was discovered and executed, he closed the book and left it in its place, asking why Caleb would have such a book.

He didn't want to think it was a sign, a way for the wizard to tell him "anything that happens between us could end up this way" and he didn't want to assume things that maybe it wasn't. There was a connection, he wasn't stupid , but he didn't want to assume anything and more when he knew that he had broken his trust and that he had hurt or disappointed him . So it was best not to ask him about the book.

There was a soft knock at the door while he was thinking about that book, Essek jolted and opened the door to meet Caleb himself, who looked somewhat worried.

"I hope I don't disturb" he said softly "can I come in?"

"Of course" Essek moved away from the door for the wizard to pass, turning his back to go towards one of the chairs and when he heard the door close he turned to face this "how can I help you?" He thought that if he had come to see him at that time it would be because he needed his help.

"I wanted to apologize, Essek" he told him and it wasn't what the drow was expecting to hear, so Caleb must have seen the confusion on his face "for the room, I must apologize"

"I don't ... I don't understand" Essek, after taking seat, glanced around the room wondering what was wrong with it.

"The room ... this guest room ... it's plain," he explained.

"I still don't get it, Caleb" observed the shadowhand "this is room is really nice and I like it quite a lot, so I don't see your point."

"I mean, you're the second guest we have but ... I personalized the room a bit for our latest guest," he explained.

"But not for me?" Essek wasn't really offended by it, as he had said he already liked it the way it was "that's fine I don't need any type of special treatment just because we have a story ... I mean, because we are friend and I'm some sort ... your teacher "

"I was hurt" admitted the magician, shame coming to his voice "after last time ... I was a bit hurt"

"I get it" he observed "I broke your trust" the trust of all actually although if the rest were upset by it, they hid it very well "I don't expect that things will be the same as before" he wasn 't a fool, he understood very well the consequences of his acts, he always knew that they could kill him, that anybody would see him with the same eyes. Why would Caleb be any different? Just because did they seem to connect? Because he saw the wizard as an equal? Like someone he could talk to for hours and hours and never get bored? Like the person he had waited all his life from him to feel that there was someone out there who understood him? All of this made him want to laugh at himself because he had never cared about anything like that before.

"It's a mixed feeling" admitted Caleb taking a seat "as I sad ... you remind me of myself years ago and I want to save you what might happen to you ... that you reach a point of no return ... both of use could be better than we are right now, it's a tough road but I am beginning to feel that I am better and it has been because I had help, people who have cared about me and I want to be that kind of person for you, together we can help each other to be better. But on the other hand ... I fear for you ... I fear that the thirst for knowledge tempts you ... there is very dark knowledge out of here, Essek ... and it is dangerous ... and I know it might tempt me because it tempts me to myself, the most powerful being, knowing more than anyone and how useful it could be to know according to what things, how I could help my family with that knowledge but I have learned ... that it is not worth it if along the way you rot and abandon what makes you yourself "

Essek hadn't expected all that, Caleb's confession and fears that he would go back the wrong way but only this time the direction was darker and with a similar ending to the book, only without so much romance, he imagined. He felt a dry mouth and a whirlpool in his stomach which he couldn't identify, even with what happened, the other worried about him and feared for his future and he was ... he couldn't define how he felt because nobody had ever cared about him like that.

"I ... I can't see the future, I have many talents but that's not one of them" admitted the shadowhand "so I can't promise you what will happen to me in the future, I mean ... someone can find out in a few months of what I did and I know very well what my destiny would be if that happened "although that hadn't stopped him from doing it but he had been very careful with it and it had gone well until the Mighty Nein had discovered it. Essek didn't consider himself someone who did bad things, but did the right thing for the greater good, knowledge. He had always had a vision that his people didn't share and he wanted to show that there was more than faith in beacons “but I understand your worries, I do worry about you when you're oustide ... about all of you, of course. I've been worried this entire time "he wasn't going to deny it, he hadn't heard from them for months and had missed Jester's strident messages in his head at any time of the day" all of you were gone for so long but now I know what you've been doing and well ... if you ever need my help you just have to let me know. "

"That's why we are here, we need your help with this matter" Caleb bit his lip after saying that, like he was wondering to keep talking or not "We will appreciate any help you can give us on the subject if you find something ... I just hope we can prevent what seems to be coming if Lucien succeeds objective"

"Forgive if I'm steping on something painful but you know that man," he observed. He had noticed, from the way they talked, they all seemed to know him.

“I don't know Lucien but I do know the person he was before” informed him “he died protecting us, trying to save our kidnapped friends and I couldn't save him ... that's why I created this tower, Essek. ..so that none of my friends are kidnapped while they are asleep, so that I don't have to bury any of them again "and he could see that the pain was still palpable in the man's voice, the pain for not being able to do more than observe the death of a friend "now he's back ... but he's different ... he's evil and what he's planning can destroy us all"

"Then I will do my best in my research" he promised him. He wanted to help, he really wanted to, not only because the world could end but also because he wanted to attoned himself to them, to Caleb.

"Danke, Essek" a small smile of gratitude appeared on the human's face and for a second, the drow allowed himself to admire him "I think I should go ... I mean, tomorrow is going to be a very long day and we need to rest." He got up from his seat waiting for the other's answer.

"Of course" he wasn't really that tired but he guessed that Caleb was and that he needed his energy back to be able to fight, if it was needed, the next day "and don't worry, this room is fine, better than fine, magnificient like this tower, you have to be proud of this"

Caleb hearing that chuckled, he didn't say it out loud for Essek to hear but he made a note of what he would add the next time the shadowhand occupied that room. But just before leaving, his gaze passed over the books he had on the estate and remembered one of them.

Well ... hopefully Essek wouldn't have read “the courting of the crick”.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for @GoldenHerm since it was her idea who inspire me to write this, so I hope you like it!
> 
> And also thank you for reading!


End file.
